My Coming Out Story

I figured that I should address some gay issues since the blog is supposed to be about that!

I decided that first thing is first, here is my coming out story.

I came out when I was 18. It was actually a weird circumstance because the person I came out too was a friend that I had only been hanging out with for 4 or 5 months. We had hung out in the past when I was in junior high, but miss-communication led to the end of the friendship in junior high. It was until my friend was getting ready to leave town for West Point Military Academy that we actually crossed paths again and hung out when it was my friends last night of "freedom". It was an odd twist because I had spent my high school years hating him because I associated him with the group he hung out with who were homophobic "ish-jocks". They weren't the A team, but they were athletes. I was also an athlete, but we didn't share the same group of friends, other than that one. We all hung out that night as if we had never disliked each other and then a couple of days later we had left some X-Box games at my friends house and we both met up to get our games. That ended up with a plan for the night and then our friendship starting again. After we discussed it we figured out that we both disliked each other for similar reasons, thinking that we both talked shit about each other. Once the air was cleared our friendship became one of my most valued ones.

My friend's name was John, and as we hung out more and more, we figured out that we really enjoyed just talking to each other and it was a breath of fresh air for the both of us. We grew close over those few months and since he connected with me on such a deep level, I decided it would be appropriate to come out to him. I didn't just blurt it out, it was a much more cryptic conversation. Many peoples stories probably went something like this, I said that I needed to tell him something but feared his reaction and he reassured me that everything was cool and nothing would change that. Luckily he wasn't lying. He took the news well and said that he kinda already had an idea. John was one of those that could see through the masks' that people wear. It was as if he had X-Ray vision to your personality, it was very very hard to put up a front with him.

I can remember the conversation like it was yesterday. We were sitting on my parents driveway smoking cigarettes and chilling. Very few people in my life have made me feel as comfortable as John did. Probably the most interesting thing about the situation was that he is a straight man. John isn't one of those where you kinda think that he may or may not have a gay side to him. John is straight and about as straight as they come. I have never met a person who is so in-touch with their feelings like me until I met him. I think that is probably why we bonded, because we were so similar in that aspect. He was one of the few people who I could always spend time with or talk on the phone with and not be bored.

As time has gone on we still keep in touch, but with him graduating college and getting a full-time job this year, it has been hard for the both of us to keep in touch. I know that no matter how much time goes by, I always have a friend in him. He was there the day my dad died, in the hospital family room consoling my mother as she cried, and he was there when I was having any other issue. He is one of the few true best friends I have and God truly blessed me with his friendship. Not to say there aren't others who I am close to as well, but John will always have a special place in my heart. He helped me through one of the hardest times of my life and gave me such good advice. I thank him for making my coming out so easy because he was so helpful. I only hope that others out there can find their John's in this world. I mean how many straight guys would actually let you discuss Queer as Folk enough that he actually became entertained and interested in the plot. Not very many. He is and will always be a very special person.

 I know that this blog is probably going to piss him off because it is all sappy and stuff, but I think that sometimes we don't always let others know how important they are to us. At times we tend to let life swift us away and forget to make that call to that good friend. I hope I never have to look back and regret losing John as a friend. John was a friend that proved years aren't always the most important factor in friendship and loyalty. I also recognize that thanks to John, I had it easy. Many struggle and have huge hurdles to overcome when they come out. I am not saying that I didn't face my own problems and hurdles, but John definitely made it an easier journey.

Thanks John.


Please feel free to share your own coming out story in our comments!